by Sigrid Fowler | Feb 10, 2021 | Blog | 0 comments
about a five minute read . . .
Yes or no? This way or that way? If the choice is one you make with others, the deciding will be harder when naysayers are involved. Nay-saying has cousins–gas lighting and denial, for example. Ever heard this? “That’s the wrong choice, and no, I’m not just being negative. You’re oversensitive.” And what about this? “It’s wrong . . . you just don’t get it.” Or this? “Did God really say you can’t eat from all the trees of the garden or you’ll die? You won’t die!”
Who hasn’t felt the muddling weight of such comments, especially in a puzzling situation? The common denominator is that negative: I didn’t say–, Surely God didn’t say–, You won’t–,You’re just–the blank can be filled with a hundred putdowns.
But wait a minute, some NO’s are to be obeyed. Remember the Ten Commandments?
What to do with the negatives? A three-year-old says, “Mommy won’t let me do anything!” If you just witnessed a smack from this mama’s hand to push his little fingers from a hot stove, you’ll smile and think, “This boy will understand when he’s older.” Some NO’s forestall our hurting others, some ourselves.
The question here reflects a spiritual reality God’s people know as guidance. In Psalm 32: 8, the Almighty breaks in to say, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; / I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” Who doesn’t want that kind of help? The God Israel knew as the King of glory and the LORD of hosts offers to guide my comings and goings? The Creator offers to show me the right path? I’m not about to say, No thank you. The ten THOU SHALT NOT’s were written on stone tablets by God’s own hand, and divine guidance sometimes arrives as a negative. Then it’s an order, not a suggestion: No. Don’t do that.
But God’s guidance is a matter of discernment. All sorts of internal promptings come to us when a choice must be made, a path chosen, a decision taken. Ever hear of “the world, the flesh, and the devil”? That summary neatly encompasses the complex, constant, and persuasive ways temptations approach. Sometimes the wise choice is to agree with the NAY. That DON’T could be divine guidance! But sometimes it isn’t. Ever had this thought? “Watch what you say, you may be offensive.” Is it best to shut down spontaneity or go ahead and speak from the heart, choosing truth over PC. Or what about this, “Consider the consequences!” We’ve all heard such internal cautions and wondered: Is this check just cowardice or the wait-a-minute of wisdom, mere timidity and self-protection or the counsel of prudence? Am I about to segue into a consequence more painful than burned fingers? On the other hand, maybe I’m being challenged to take a risk. The developing situation, like the proof in the pudding, reveals the right choice . . . eventually. How to tell the difference before committing to an action that can’t be changed?
Yesterday, some light seemed to fall on the whole matter. I think I’ve received some insight for times of choosing. Follow the lead or not? It occurs to me that, in this quandary, I should ask myself, How does the sound of that imperative strike me?
I’m remembering times I agreed with the prompting and other times I pushed it aside, going about my business and ignoring the whole thing.
Of course, the right response is related to the identity of the advice-giver. Is this the Advice-giver? Perhaps the source of the prompting in question doesn’t deserve that cap. You may object and say, You’re asking me to believe in the devil? I’ll respond that you may call the source of such promptings anything you want. I’m remembering that to obey the word or ignore it ends irretrievably in pluses or minuses. Consequences follow. Sometimes we wish we’d chosen not to do that thing or, on the other hand, wish we had.
What I’m concluding, as of yesterday, is that a difference in tone is worth listening for. Is it neutral, delivered with a distinct weight of authority but also with the definite sense that I’m free, free to follow through . . . or not? At other times, there a sense of subtle put-down. Guilt is somewhere nearby, somehow connected with the possibility of choosing wrongly. A Disobedient label is about to be slapped on or shame is involved. Maybe condemnation is edging the imperative, as if a threat is leveled at the moment of choosing. This may be a good time to recall what Paul declared: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8: 1).
I’m reliving some heavy moments when I consciously chose to ignore or comply with some prompting that filled my mind. In fact, moments of fear, times when guilt and shame were suggested, I have on occasion shut down with a correct and emphatic NO, I WON”T DO THAT. Choosing to ignore the impulse has sometimes felt like rebellion. Later, when that NO proved to be the right choice, I was glad I’d dismissed what I later remembered as a threatening tone. I’ll say again, the whole thing hinges on the motivation behind the advice. Jesus said, “[The devil] was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8: 44b). That’s a pretty clear statement of intent and motivation!
Another striking word from the Lord Jesus is relevant here. To the church of Sardis, Jesus says, “I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you” (Rev 3: 3). I think we can forget who our original parents gave the world to. If we keep in mind that false and murderous landlord, the sketch of rebellion may be colored with a different brush. If the devil is in charge, rebellion isn’t always inappropriate!
Discernment is a gift from the Almighty. He guides with his eye upon us, and the truth can be discerned because the one who loves us is always motivated, even in judgment, by lovingkindness. The Almighty, God himself, gives us freedom to choose, as well as the gift of discernment (1 Cor 12: 10b). Remember that dream-braggart, Joseph? My guess is that the Holy Spirit whispered to him, “Don’t say that to your brothers! That’s boasting!” There’s also this: Our God is famous for turning around foolish, wrong choices. His grace doesn’t fail, even when we choose wrongly though he is also a wise and loving parent who sometimes lets us learn from the pain of our mistakes. Discerning the right choice should be our aim.
Listen for the tone.
with thanks for the great image: vladislav-babienko-KTpSVEcU0XU-unsplash-2.jpg
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